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MOMENTUM BLOG
Ideas, Stories & Ways To Keep Moving Forward
Explore honest insights, practical advice and stories about friendship, wellbeing, confidence, connection and life as a man.


Why men feel lonely even when they’re not alone
Men can feel lonely even when surrounded by other people because loneliness isn't simply about being physically alone. A man may have a partner, family and work colleagues but still lack friendships, belonging or people he can spontaneously spend time with. Rebuilding connection often starts with regular shared activity rather than forcing emotional conversations.
Alan Stokes
6 days ago11 min read


Find Your Tribe in Plymouth: Building Local Connections That Actually Stick
Most of your old mates seem to have disappeared somewhere between work, relationships, kids and life. You find yourself stuck in a routine of work, home, repeat. Maybe you’ve moved to Plymouth recently and don’t know many people. Or perhaps you’re a dad whose social life has shrunk to school runs and bedtime stories. Whatever the reason, it’s easy to feel like your circle’s gotten smaller than you’d like.
Alan Stokes
Sep 114 min read


Overcoming Shame: Shame Recovery Strategies for Men
Most of your old mates seem to have disappeared somewhere between work, relationships, kids and life. Days blur into weeks, and suddenly your social circle feels more like a dot than a circle. You might find yourself stuck in a routine of work, home, and family, with little time or energy left for anything else. Or maybe you’ve recently moved to Plymouth and don’t know many people yet. Whatever the reason, that shrinking social life can bring a sneaky feeling along for the ri
Alan Stokes
Sep 74 min read


Why Men Struggle to Engage in Men’s Groups and What the Benefits Are
Most of your old mates seem to have disappeared somewhere between work, relationships, kids and life. You might find yourself stuck in a routine of work, home, and family, with little time or energy left for socialising. Or maybe you’ve moved to Plymouth recently and don’t know many people around here. Whatever the reason, joining a men’s group can feel like a bit of a leap. But it’s worth it. Let’s have a proper chat about why it’s tough to get involved and why it’s well wor
Alan Stokes
Sep 44 min read


The Journey of Change: Why Showing Up Matters
For a lot of men, the hardest part isn’t knowing something needs to change.
It’s doing something about it.
Not because they don’t want to.
But because:
They’re unsure what it’ll be like
They don’t know anyone there
It feels slightly outside their normal routine
So the idea stays as an idea.
“I might go at some point.”
“I’ll check it out another time.”
And nothing changes.
Alan Stokes
Jul 223 min read


“You Don’t Need Therapy — You Need Connection (Here’s Why)”
When something feels off, the default advice is often:
“Maybe you should talk to someone.”
And for some people, that’s exactly what helps.
But for a lot of men, the response is different.
Not resistant.
Not dismissive.
Just… not quite right.
Because the issue they’re experiencing isn’t always something that needs to be analysed or unpacked.
More often than not, it’s something much simpler.
They’re missing connection.
Alan Stokes
Jul 153 min read


“Why Opening Up Feels So Uncomfortable (And What To Do Instead)”
“Just open up.”
It’s common advice.
Simple. Direct. Well-intended.
But for a lot of men, it doesn’t feel simple at all.
In fact, it can feel:
Unnatural
Forced
Uncomfortable
Even unnecessary
So instead of helping, it often creates resistance.
And that raises a better question:
Why does opening up feel so difficult in the first place?
Alan Stokes
Jul 83 min read


“Always Busy, Never Fulfilled: The Modern Man’s Trap”
A lot of men are busy.
Work is full.
Days are structured.
There’s always something to do.
From the outside, it can look like things are going well.
But underneath that, there’s a different experience.
A sense that despite everything being in place…
Something still isn’t quite right.
Alan Stokes
Jul 13 min read


Making Friends After 30: Finding Connection in Plymouth
Making friends used to be straightforward.
School. College. Work. Sport.
You were around people regularly, and connection happened naturally.
There wasn’t much thought involved.
But at some point—usually in your 30's—that changes.
Not dramatically.
Just enough to notice that:
It’s not as easy as it used to be.
Alan Stokes
Jun 243 min read


When Your Social Life Disappears Without You Noticing
It doesn’t usually happen suddenly.
There’s no clear moment where you think:
“That’s it. My social life’s gone.”
It’s more gradual than that.
You get busy.
Life fills up.
Priorities shift.
And somewhere along the way, without really noticing…
Your social life fades into the background.
Alan Stokes
Jun 173 min read


The Silent Pressure on Men to ‘Hold It All Together’
There’s a pressure a lot of men carry.
Not always spoken about.
Not always obvious.
But it’s there.
Alan Stokes
Jun 103 min read


Rebuilding Your Life After a Relationship Breakdown
Breaking up is tough. It shakes your world and leaves you wondering how to move forward. If you’re a man over 30 in Plymouth, feeling isolated or unsure about what comes next, you’re not alone. Rebuilding your life after a relationship ends takes time, patience, and the right support.
Alan Stokes
Jun 63 min read


Getting the Balance of Life Right and Making Time for You
Finding the right balance in life can feel like chasing a shadow. Between work, family, and social commitments, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters—making time for yourself. I’ve been there, juggling too many things and feeling stretched thin. But over time, I’ve learned that carving out moments just for me isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
Alan Stokes
Jun 45 min read


Why Men Don’t Talk (And What Actually Helps Instead)
“Men just don’t talk.”
It’s something you hear a lot.
Said casually.
Repeated often.
Almost accepted as fact.
But when you look closer, it’s not quite true.
Because men do talk.
Just not always in the way people expect.
And not always in environments that make it easy.
Alan Stokes
Jun 34 min read


“I Should Be Happy… So Why Don’t I Feel It?”
On paper, everything looks alright.
You’ve got a job.
You’re handling your responsibilities.
You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing.
From the outside, there’s no obvious problem.
But internally, something doesn’t quite line up.
There’s a flatness to things.
A lack of real enjoyment.
A sense that you’re going through life… rather than actually in it.
And the confusing part is this:
You can’t always point to a clear reason why.
Alan Stokes
May 273 min read


The Pressure of Being the Strong One
I think a lot of men quietly break under pressure long before anybody notices.
Not because they are weak.
But because they become too good at hiding it.
Over the last few years, I found myself carrying pressures from every direction at once.
Alan Stokes
May 214 min read


Why So Many Men Feel Lonely — Even When Life Looks Fine
On the surface, a lot of men are doing fine.
They’re working. Providing. Showing up for their families. Getting on with things.
From the outside, life looks steady—even successful.But underneath that, something else is going on.
A quiet kind of loneliness that doesn’t always look like loneliness.
Not isolation in the obvious sense. Not sitting alone with no one around.
But a lack of real connection.
A sense that something’s missing—without being able to fully explain what it
Alan Stokes
May 204 min read


Sometimes Life Beats the Hell Out of You
There were moments over the last couple of years where life brought me to my knees.
Not in a dramatic, cinematic way. Not all at once.
It happened slowly.
Quietly.
One difficult conversation at a time.
One sleepless night at a time.
One more responsibility.
One more fear.
One more loss.
One more thing to carry while pretending I was still coping.
From the outside, I probably looked functional.
I still worked.
Still spoke to people.
Still tried to lead.
Still showed up.
Alan Stokes
May 144 min read


Learn about the Benefits of Joining Momentum Men Support Group in Plymouth
MoMENtum Men’s Support Group helps men 30+ in Plymouth beat loneliness, build real friendships, share experiences, and feel supported.
Alan Stokes
Jan 255 min read


Living Alone as a Man: How to Beat Loneliness Without Losing Yourself
Living alone as a man often looks fine from the outside. You’re working. You’re paying the bills. You’re “getting on with it.”No drama. No crisis. No obvious problems. And yet, many men quietly admit the same thing once they feel safe enough to say it: “It just gets a bit empty.” This article is for men who live alone — whether by choice, circumstance, or life transition — and who want real connection without therapy jargon, forced vulnerability, or being told to ‘just talk m
Alan Stokes
Jan 134 min read
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