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Navigating Vulnerability


“Why Most Men Struggle to Make New Friends After 30”
Making friends used to be straightforward.
School. College. Work. Sport.
You were around people regularly, and connection happened naturally.
There wasn’t much thought involved.
But at some point—usually in your 30's—that changes.
Not dramatically.
Just enough to notice that:
It’s not as easy as it used to be.
Alan Stokes
6 days ago3 min read


The Silent Pressure on Men to ‘Hold It All Together’
There’s a pressure a lot of men carry.
Not always spoken about.
Not always obvious.
But it’s there.
Alan Stokes
Jun 103 min read


Ways to Make New Friends with Momentum
Making new friends as an adult can feel tricky. Life gets busy, routines settle in, and chances to meet new people seem rare. But building friendships is worth the effort. It brings support, fun, and a sense of belonging. The key is to create momentum—small steps that lead to lasting connections. I want to share some practical ways to do just that, especially if you’re in Plymouth and looking for a community of like-minded men over 30.
Alan Stokes
Jun 24 min read


“I Should Be Happy… So Why Don’t I Feel It?”
On paper, everything looks alright.
You’ve got a job.
You’re handling your responsibilities.
You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing.
From the outside, there’s no obvious problem.
But internally, something doesn’t quite line up.
There’s a flatness to things.
A lack of real enjoyment.
A sense that you’re going through life… rather than actually in it.
And the confusing part is this:
You can’t always point to a clear reason why.
Alan Stokes
May 273 min read


Breaking the Silence: Why Men in Plymouth Need to Talk
Ever noticed how men often dodge serious conversations about what’s really on their minds? Instead of opening up, many crack jokes or change the subject. It’s like there’s an unspoken rule: don’t show worry, just laugh it off. But why is that? Why do so many men find it easier to use humour as a shield rather than talk honestly about their worries?
Alan Stokes
May 214 min read


Sometimes Life Beats the Hell Out of You
There were moments over the last couple of years where life brought me to my knees.
Not in a dramatic, cinematic way. Not all at once.
It happened slowly.
Quietly.
One difficult conversation at a time.
One sleepless night at a time.
One more responsibility.
One more fear.
One more loss.
One more thing to carry while pretending I was still coping.
From the outside, I probably looked functional.
I still worked.
Still spoke to people.
Still tried to lead.
Still showed up.
Alan Stokes
May 144 min read
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