Making Friends as a Man: Why It Gets Harder — and What Actually Works

At some point, many men look around and realise their social circle has quietly shrunk.

Not overnight. Not because anything dramatic happened.Just slowly.

Work. Family. Responsibility. Tiredness. Mates move away. Relationships change. Life gets busy.

And before you know it, you’re doing most things on your own.

At the MoMENtum Men’s Group, this is one of the most common things men talk about — often after they’ve already taken the step to show up.

This article is for men who:

• Don’t feel “lonely” enough to make a fuss

• Miss having mates but don’t know how to rebuild that

• Feel awkward about putting themselves out there

• Want connection without pressure, therapy talk, or forced sharing

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Why Making Friends as a Man Feels So Awkward

1. Men Are Rarely Taught How to Build Friendships

Most male friendships start through:

• School

• Work

• Sport

• Shared environments

They don’t usually start through sitting down and saying:

“Do you want to be friends?”

So when those environments disappear, many men are left without a map for how connection happens next.

It’s not that men don’t want friends — it’s that they were never shown how to create them intentionally.

2. Pride and Self-Reliance Get in the Way

Men are often taught:

• Handle things yourself

• Don’t complain

• Don’t look needy

• Don’t be the one who reaches out

That works — until it doesn’t.

Because connection requires a small risk:

• Starting a conversation

• Turning up alone

• Being the new one

• Not knowing how it will land

For many men, that feels more uncomfortable than staying isolated.

3. Fear of Rejection Is Real — Even If We Don’t Admit It

Men don’t often talk about fear of rejection, but it shows up as:

• “They’ve already got their group”

• “I’d feel like a spare part”

• “I wouldn’t know what to say”

• “It’d just be awkward”

So instead of risking that feeling, many men default to:Work → Home → Screen → Sleep

Not because they want to — but because it’s predictable and safe.

The Cost of Doing Life Solo for Too Long

Living with limited social connection doesn’t always feel dramatic — but over time, it can lead to:

• Lower mood

• Less motivation

• Shorter fuse

• Feeling disconnected or flat

• Losing confidence socially

• Feeling stuck in your own head

This doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you.

It means connection is a basic human need — not a luxury.

Why Men Connect Better Alongside Something

One thing we see again and again:

Men don’t bond best by sitting face-to-face talking about feelings.

They bond by:

• Walking

• Eating

• Doing

• Watching

• Sharing experiences

Conversation happens next to the activity, not instead of it.

That’s not avoidance — it’s how many men naturally connect.

What Actually Makes Friendships Easier for Men

1. Low-Pressure Environments

The easier it is to turn up, the more likely men are to do it.

That means:

• No expectation to talk deeply

• No pressure to perform

• No “group therapy” vibe

• No obligation to overshare

Just showing up is enough.

2. Consistency Beats Intensity

Friendships don’t form in one night.

They form through:

• Seeing the same faces

• Familiar conversations

• Gradual trust

• Shared humour

This is why regular, casual meetups work far better than one-off events.

3. Shared Reality Matters

Men often connect fastest with other men who:

• Are at a similar stage of life

• Get the pressures of work, family, or separation

• Don’t need things explaining

• Can laugh about the same stuff

Different backgrounds — similar realities.

4. Permission to Be Yourself

Men relax when they don’t feel they have to:

• Impress

• Be interesting

• Be confident

• Have their life sorted

Belonging starts when you don’t feel judged.

Where MoMENtum Fits In

MoMENtum exists because many men don’t need therapy —they need connection, routine, and belonging.

It’s built around:

• Activity-based meetups

• Natural conversation

• Shared experiences

• No pressure, no labels

• Turning up as you are

Some men come once.Others keep coming.Many build friendships outside the group.

All of it starts the same way — by showing up.

“But I’m Not Very Social”

You don’t need to be.

Plenty of men in MoMENtum:

• Are quiet

• Are nervous

• Are rusty socially

• Haven’t done anything like this before

That’s normal.

You don’t need confidence to start —confidence grows after you start.

A Straight-Talking Invitation

If you’re reading this and thinking:

“Yeah… this is me.”

Then consider this:

You don’t need to wait until things get worse.You don’t need to explain yourself.You don’t need to change who you are.

You just need to take one small step.

Connection doesn’t come from thinking about it. It comes from turning up.

FAQs

Is this a support group or therapy?No. It’s a men’s social connection group built around shared experiences, not therapy.

What if I don’t know anyone?Most men come not knowing anyone. That’s the point.

Do I have to talk about personal stuff?No. Conversation happens naturally — there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to.

Final Word

A lot of men are quietly doing life on their own.

MoMENtum isn’t about fixing men.It’s about bringing men back into connection — without pressure or pretence.

Author Bio

Alan Stokes is the founder of MoMENtum, a men’s connection and wellbeing community focused on reducing isolation and helping men build meaningful friendships, confidence, and purpose.

With a background in counselling, mental health, and group facilitation, Alan works closely with men who feel disconnected, stuck, or unsure where they fit—particularly those navigating loneliness, life transitions, identity shifts, and emotional pressure in modern life.

Alan believes men don’t need fixing—they need connection, practical support, and spaces where real conversations are normal. Through MoMENtum, he brings men together through activity-based meetups, shared experiences, and honest dialogue that feels natural rather than forced.

His writing blends professional insight with real-world experience, offering clear, practical guidance without jargon or judgement. Above all, Alan is passionate about helping men realise they are not alone—and that taking action, even small steps, can change everything.